Sunday 4 September 2011

The Rise of the Toy Soldiers

Last Thursday "I got a cap in my ass" whilst jogging home from a night out with work colegues. I now officially walk with a swagger and it hurts a bit when I sit down. If I was in the hood this may have been seen as some sort of badge of honour, but I dont live in the hood and there is no honor in having to wiping the seat to make sure you dont get an infection when you use a public loo due to your weeping wound.

It happened about 9:40 pm, I was minding my own buisness jogging along the road when I heard the sound of a car decelerating behind me. I then heard what sounded like a gas cannister being squashed, like a burst of air, I heard a slight whistling noise and then felt a kick in my backside followed by a pinch, like being bitten on my bumcheek. I then coiled backwards and grabbed my left buttock as I realised what had happened, my initial thought was that the car had run over a can of something and I had been hit by shrapnel...I looked to the road and the 4X4 was now accelerating away and I could not see any cannister in the road. I also could'nt find any shrapnel just a small metal pelet and then it dawned on me that some little sod had shot me with an air rifle. By this stage the 4X4 was quickly disapearing from sight and it was too dark to get the number plate.

Fortunately the ripstop fabric on my pants stopped the pellet but it still hit with sufficient force to beak the skin. I continued to walk home, a bit shook up so i tried to phone home to share my woes but got no answer. I got back to my Bed and Breakfast and told the owner what had happened before heading to bed.

In the morning I was woken by the landlord who handed me the phone and told me the police wanted me to come to the station to make a statement. I got there and the woman on the desk said she was expecting me as I was the guy who had been shot. It all seemed a bit sureal.

I was given a quick interview and then taken upstairs to a female "Scenes of Crime Photographer" who wanted to take a photo of my backside. I had a few reference photos taken and she asked me to remove my pants. I then had the indignity of being asked which spot was the pellet mark as i had several spots on my bum, was i sure it was an air rifle and not a shotgun. I then had to stand there and feel my bum untill I found the one that hurt, it was all a bit comical.

After the photos I then had to give my statement, which was quite cool especially as I could verify my movements with my Android phone which had even logged me stopping at the time of the shooting incident and recorded it all on an app called Eventflow, almost felt like the whole thing had been worth while because I had a chance to justify the expense of my HTC phone though the police officer didn't seem that impressed.I then left the station and sent a few joke tweets about the experience and went back to work.

As the day progressed word got round my work site about what had happened and more and more people made jokes with regards to the incident, they reffered to the Mean streets of Banbury and how I would now be taking up arms myself. It was all rather tounge and cheek stuff and became a little bit tidious though i did laught at some of the remarks.

I left work to drive back to Liverpool and as I drove home I got thinking about the situation and how it had come to be, who where the little bastards who shot me and why had they thought it was ok to do so. What fantasy where they living in and where had the ideas come from. I thought back to the riots of a few weeks back and wondered if these moments in time where connected through a social consiousness that somehow has become deriled from the reality of the normal people and now existed in one of playfull drive by shootings in your dads SUV and free stuff from JD Sports shops and Currys Digital.

I reflected on a story I had been told whilst in work of soething that had happened last weekend of how a dad was out riding his bike with his two sons. One of his sons fell off his bike a twisted his ankle, the dad got off his bike to attend to his son who was in agony and whilst he was trying to calm the boy down some little scum bag stole their bikes. If you check the papers its full of these storys, but what I find scary is its not just the papers now its people you know who are telling these tales.

So today I sat at home tried to make some sense of it by doing what I always do and going on You Tube. I typed in Drive By shootings just to see what was out there, I also typed in Scallies, Scumbags Hoodies and Scrotes just to see what else I could dig up. This video is a short montage of the clips I found, Ive also thrown in a clip of J-Roc from "Trailer Park Boys" (which is a satire but of a very real situation).

Ok so anyway I was just a victim of an airgun, some kids role play but its scary that this is a mindset, a reality / fantasy that people seem to want to create and be a part of... It seems this existance is steadily gaining more mass and starting to pull more people into into it like a social super nova and even if the idea of toy guns dosn't scare me... whats on the other side of the black hole certainly does and at this moment I dont see any way out.

 

 

 

 

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